They’re scourge of the internet, they’re troll. But as much as we all love to hate them, there’s a sneaking allure to the lives they lead. Trolls aren’t out for scores, adoration or friends – they’re in it for the laughs. So if you can’t beat them, join them.
We’ll admit that VR is such a new platform, some of these are speculative. Many of the games are either in Alpha or not even released to the public yet. But with virtual reality about to hit the mainstream now is the time to get ahead of the game with our top 10 ways of trolling in VR.
1. Flip the bird!
Game: Hover Junkers
We can’t think of many games where a player has been able to stick a middle finger up while playing, except possibly obscure retro-styled horror game The Night That Speaks. But in upcoming HTC Vive title Hover Junkers you can. Just extend a hand and with a nifty button combo you can flip the bird at your opponent while mercilessly shooting their junker down. And instead of this being a bug to exploit, it’s been actively programmed in.
There’s also a less savory option to troll a teammate. Developers Stress Level Zero have made it possible for a player to shoot themselves in the head. Try it when you and your partner reaches a particularly tough opponent. Leave your friend building defences while you just stare them in the eyes as you end it all. They’ll then have to fend for themselves against the ever-encroaching enemies. Chilling.
2. Knock a ship into space!
Game: Star Citizen (Alpha 2.0)
Currently in Alpha form, Star Citizen is due out officially very soon with much promised VR support. It’s an FPS-come-space dogfight with added vehicles. But leaving the confines of your spaceship makes you extremely vulnerable to YouTubers like viperman33. He’s found that it’s possible to ram raid an unattended ship, receive minimal damage and send the crafts flying out into the cold vacuum of space. This leaves their pilot standing aghast in horror. Since this is Alpha, this ‘feature’ may not make it to the game proper. But here’s hoping there’ll be some sort of method for this trolling trick. Don’t say we didn’t warn you, and remember: never leave a spaceship unattended.
3. Troll yourself…accidentally
Game: Pretty much any title where you control a person (pictured: Waltz Of The Wizard)
The longer you’re in a VR game, the more you’ll believe it’s reality. You can open doors with their handles, pick up potions, throw a ball, bounce it off a wall and catch it, lean on a table….wahhhh! Ow! That bit isn’t possible, as nobody’s invented an actual Holodeck yet. Remember, just because the fences, tables and chairs look real, they’re not and treating them as such could result in some serious self-trolling. An onlooking friend to your VR escapade will be treated to a FailBlog-style manoeuvre like in classic British sitcom Only Fools and Horses. And so, for the love of Oculus, please watch this video and learn how not to smash your face in VR before you strap on your first headset.
4. Lava! Chickens!
Mincraft should really have its own top 10 of trolling. The Windows 10 version is here so why not do some classic brick-baiting to your soon-to-be-ex-friends. They say charity begins at home, so why not give the gift of chickens? Try one hundred of them and, while you’re at it, replace the doormat with lava. When the owner returns to their once-beautiful abode they’ll find a rowdy chicken shack that’s hotter than the sun. Chuckle with glee as you leer down from the doorway in your VR headset and watch them burn up in their own – ahem – fowl mess. Clucking brilliant!
5. Botch an alien medical procedure
Game: Surgeon Simulator: Experience Reality
Trolling your alien overlords has never been easier in the new version of dark comedy, Surgeon Simulator for HTC Vive and Oculus Rift. In it you can fling a Martian’s glowing liver around in zero gravity. Watch as the flubbery organ flies around your head smacking into the long-suffering patient. Remove, what we’re assuming are kidneys, with all the dexterity of a rhino doing embroidery using its horn… drunk. As you can probably tell, this is not a game of subtlety, in fact it encourages you to troll, so why not just roll with it. The original mouse interface made the world frustrating, but VR turns cack-handedness into blood-soaked fun.
Game: Keep Talking and Nobody Explodes
A puzzle game may be an odd way to troll your friends but stick with us. In Keep Talking, there’s a person or group of people who have a bomb disposal manual, and one player who wears an Oculus Rift. That person must describe what they see and then listen to the instructions from the others in order to diffuse a bomb. Here’s where the fun begins, the gamespace is intentionally claustrophobic, with only a ticking timebomb for company. You can probably see where the trolling is leading, intentionally give the diffuser completely the wrong instructions and… BOOM! The explosion is already pretty intense, but you can always pull a party popper at the same time for added value.
Game: Any you can crouch in (Hover Junkers & CoD:Black Ops 2)
A trolling CLASSIC and no mistake. If you’re not experienced this pinnacle of human endeavour then here’s how it works; simply slay an enemy then crouch repeatedly in their face. As they look up they’ll be slapped in the face with your ‘teabags’. Hover Junkers is currently one of the few VR games where crouching in real life transmits in-game. Whether or not this is a classy look outside of the VR world, we’re unsure. If nothing else, it’s a good workout. Teabagging is a big favourite of Call of Duty: Black Ops players. The game can be rigged to work on the Oculus Rift, crouching is a mere button push. Much more refined.
8. Fun with C4
Game: Battlefield 3 & 4
Although not officially supported, Battlefields 3 and 4 can both be played in the Rift. EA and Dice are keeping schtum about support for the upcoming fifth incarnation of the game. But back to trolling, a favourite method of enticing anger, annoyance and death in your fellow players is the so-called ‘Jihad Jeep’.
Load a vehicle full of C4, board it and drive it into a group of players, jump out, run away a little and detonate. Watch with glee as they’re all blown to smithereens. For added troll points, why not do this to your own team members. And it gets really interesting with one of two new hardware accessories, the Cyberith Virtualizer and the Omni. Running in real life in one of these machines transmits into running in the world of Battlefield, adding a read sense of danger when fleeing an explosives laden truck.
9. Create a massive traffic jam
Game: Euro Truck Simulator 2
Euro Truck Simulator 2, one of the launch titles for HTC Vive is the gaming equivalent of a PowerPoint demonstration on soil density. It’s a game dedicated to spending hours and hours and hours and hours delivering toilet roll across the flatlands of Holland. What’s more, it can be done online. Join other like-minded drivers shifting endless cargo across Europe. But where’s the fun in that? Spice up the monotony of the road by creating a massive traffic jam. The easy way is to park a vehicle perpendicular to the road and wait for the truckers to arrive. A more adventurous method is to drive onto a bridge and drop onto the traffic below. Either way, enjoy looking around the cabin carnage in your new VR headset.
10. The worst ride ever
Game: Roller Coaster VR
We left the best until last, and it’s also probably the easiest and cheapest to achieve. Grab a smartphone, pop it into Google Cardboard with Roller Coaster VR on it. Find a particularly gullible friend and ask them to strap the headset on. Make sure it’s firmly there. Start up Roller Coaster VR and just before the drop give them a gentle shove to scare them half out their wits. It really won’t take much. Don’t believe us? Watch this poor chap get the gaming equivalent of his worst nightmare. And if all else fails, there’s always this.